all of my favorite missions were ill-defined

Traditional

sign'am

Cameroonian weddings have 3 parts to them: Traditional, Legal (‘sign’am’)and Christian, which happen on different days, often spread over months. This week I abandoned my post to travel up country and attend the first two parts of a particular marriage.

Of course I can’t speak for all Traditional Cameroonian weddings, and I bet there’s a lot of variation across regions, but in Bamenda, in this particular place, it was quite a thing.

The main event was a sort of live metaphorical debate between the two families. Someone from the bride side would get up and say something about a ripe plantain that is coveted but too high up, and then someone from the groom side would come back about how a particular elixir that is needed to soften it, but only the bride side could provide it, and on and on. It was all about proving dedication, and it was all very clever and funny, but my grasp on the pidgin, as ever, was thin.

When the extended metaphorathon was done, the bride team announced that the bride was too tired to show up and needed money from the groom side (for a taxi), which they gave. A woman covered in a sheet was ushered out from a back room, and when she was unveiled, she was rejected because she was not actually the bride. More money was requested, another false bride was unveiled, 5 times over. If I am making it sound serious, it was not. The less the presented woman looked like the bride, the more the crowd roared. So the funniest part was when they trotted me out. Rejected! Send her back!

The sign’am wedding was scheduled for 8:00am the next day, so I showed up at 8:45am and things kicked off around noon. Other than the timing, this part was fairly unexotic to my mind, but I like the part where they each state whether they are applying for a monogamous or polygamous marriage.

If I were a Village Explainer I would say things about kinship and gender and faith. But I’m not, so not.